Concept vs. reality

If you get a chance, you should really go listen to this sermon by Tim Keller.  This blog post is coming from the perspective of having heard it, and I really think you might like it, too!

You know how sometimes we can just see the Lord orchestrating some things in our lives to show us that it’s time for us to learn something?  That’s what has been happening with me in the last week.  Grab a cup of coffee (or in my case, a Pepsi), and I’ll tell you about it, perhaps He’s been doing something like this in your life, too!

About a year ago (I think) a book came out called The Reason For God.  It’s an apologetics book, and I read about it on another blog.  Anyway, I have been increasingly interested in reading this book, but it’s always gone from the library, and I haven’t sprung to buy it yet, not knowing whether I was going to like it or not.  So, about a week ago, the thought occurred to me, “Maybe I could listen to the author’s (Tim Keller) sermons online and get a feel for if I’m going to like the book or not!”, so I did.  I just chose a sermon out of the long list, it happened to be a sermon on Isaiah 6.  It was the most excellent sermon on Isaiah 6 I’ve ever heard.

Here were my biggest take-aways:

1)  The word glory comes from a Hebrew word that actually refers to weight.  Rev. Keller gives the example of something heavier than water being thrown into water.  What happens?  The water quakes.  It is displaced. It changes. When the Bible describes the glory of God coming down to earth, there is always and earthquake, because the weight of God is greater than that which He is entering.  When we come to understand God’s glory and it fills us, we will be changed.

2)  Isaiah was a smart, elite, proud man, and when the Lord filled the temple where he was, he quaked!  His only response was, “I am a man of unclean lips!”, because God had suddenly gone from concept to reality.  Isaiah always knew God was holy.  He always believed God was holy.  But the reality of God’s holiness hadn’t changed him until that moment.

3)  When that perception of God changed, when Isaiah finally experienced God as a reality, his response was first, true realization that he himself was part of the problem in the land; then absolute fear (he thought he was going to die); then understanding of the incredible gift of atonement; then finally, a turn to God and the cry, “Here I am!  Send me!”.  And that was before he heard what the assignment was!  Isaiah’s view of himself was destroyed, then reconstructed, in a moment, and he. was. changed.

whoa, whoa.

So, then, on Friday, I went to Bible study at church, and we are starting a new series.  Beth Moore’s Breaking Free.  And guess what scripture was part of our study?  You got it.  Isaiah 6 and Isaiah 54 (plus quite a bit of time in Judges 6-7).  And it was such a blessing to hear her talk about the same things, too!  It was interesting, because I had the framework of Rev. Keller’s sermon to attach the things Beth Moore was talking about, and things began to click.  Beth Moore talks about how when a person has the Holy Spirit working in their hearts, no one else can get in, like a lid shut tight on a jar.  Once we belong to God, no one else can possess us.  However, someone else can oppress us, and bring darkness into our lives for a time.  It is in these times of oppression that I have seen my self slip back into viewing God as a concept, not being changed or moved by Him, but merely acknowledging that He exists, while using my energy to please my wicked little heart.

But ultimately, the glory of God will quake whatever it fills, and not leave it as it was!

Can I get an Amen?!

The muchness of life, part 3

So far, we’ve seen encouraging reminders of God’s sufficient grace, perfect strength, and abundant wisdom.  We find our next two evidences of God’s hand in our lives from Paul’s writing in Phil. 1:9-11, 25-26:

And this is my prayer:  that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ – to the glory and praise of God…Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.

I can think of no more overwhelming prospect than following the Lord in living our lives so that the people God puts in our lives (our husbands, children, parents, siblings, friends, and even total strangers!) may have increased joy in the Lord because of his work through us.  And yet, again we are promised that through prayer, God can increase our love, which produces (among other things) joy!  Have you ever had one of those days where you felt like you just had no more love to give?  Maybe this only happens to me, but I think it must happen to others, too.  I can think of lots of times when I’ve felt like I’m just at the end of my rope – when my kids got to the point where they didn’t need naps anymore, I felt this way A LOT.  When my kids seem to forget something that they knew very well a few days ago, I begin to feel this way.  When I don’t accomplish the things on my to-do list, I feel this way.  When it seems like I spend the whole day pulling toothbrushes out of the toilet, cleaning syrup up off the floor, mud out of the carpet, and gum out of people’s hair, I feel very close to the end of my rope.  But watch what God says about people who are at the end of their rope:

Isaiah 9:3 The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.  You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest…

Hallelujah!

That’s why it is so important that we remember that God, in the muchness of all that He is, meets us there – at the end of our rope – and hands us His rope, giving us access to all of the wonderful strength, grace, wisdom, love, and joy that He possesses!   Psalm 19:8 says, The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.  The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.

We can take heart, lift our face, and go on with the work that has been given us each day, For this God is our God for ever and ever; He will be our guide, even to the end. Psalm 48:14

The muchness of life, part 2

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

We all have things that we worry about, times when we just shake our head and say, “I just don’t know what to do!”.  Maybe it’s schooling.  Maybe it’s a particular behavior issue you would like to address in your child.  Maybe it’s a particular behavior issue you’d like to address in yourself.  Maybe it’s a job decision, a home decision, family decision.  Maybe it’s something else entirely.

When we are struggling to find answers, there is good news we need to remember!   James 1:5 says, If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally, without finding fault; and it shall be given to him.

He gives much wisdom when you have come to the end of what you know!  By the way, it’s my understanding that the type of prayer this passage is talking about is persistent, passionate prayer.  Prayer that is fervent and full of energy because we have come to the end of ourselves.  Few things in my life have brought me to the end of myself as quickly as my children do…

Much wisdom is necessary when your toddler is beginning to test his ability to be independent.  Wisdom to know when to let go, and when it’s important to keep hanging on.  Wisdom to see the child as he is, and give him the amount of responsibility and freedom that he can handle, but not so much that could crush him.

Much wisdom is necessary when deciding on your approach to discipline and training in your home.

Much wisdom is necessary when your pre-schooler begins to explore and understand the meaning of truth, and how truth and our view of it impacts our daily life.

Much wisdom is necessary when it’s time for your little one to start school.  How do we set the routine so that it works for the family?  How do we handle the extra workload that comes with school (no matter what method you choose)?

Every area of parenting (or even just being a responsible adult!) requires much wisdom – much more than I have of my own!  And yet, even knowing that I lack wisdom, and knowing that God’s wisdom abounds, I still forget to go to Him ask!  Time and time again, I find myself frustrated because I am trying to handle things without approaching the One Who Knows.  There’s that Laodicean in me again.

On the other hand, when I recognize that self-sufficiency trying to rise up in me again, I love the encouragement I find in James 1:5 put together with Phillipians 4:6-7 - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ.

Prayer plays such an important role in our relationship with the Lord.  Look at what those two verses offer through prayer! We must obey His command to pray, fervently and persistently thanking Him for His blessing and direction in our lives!  Where would we be without it? And we must be encouraged to pray fervently and persistently for ourselves, our husbands, our children, and the big and small things that make up our day to day lives.  God alone has sufficient grace and perfect strength, God alone can give us peace and wisdom that is more compelling than the muchness of our days.

The muchness of life, part 1

Don’t you love the word “Much”?

What would we have if we didn’t have much to describe things?  It is defined as “great in quantity, measure, or degree; to a great extent”.  How often do we use this word without even thinking about it?

Think of…

A delicious restaurant where they pile too much food on the plate;

A last minute touch-down by your favorite football team – so much excitement in the air;

An extravagant hotel where there are thick, luxurious towels, helpful workers, beautiful decorations, so much extravagance!

A new baby is coming – so much excitement!  So much to do!  So much to think about!

Pastor Holcomb said a few weeks ago that, when a couple has a baby, especially their first, their life will change so much that it’s almost incomprehensible – and that’s the truth!

After you have a baby, there is so much more to think about.  And that can be exciting – or exhausting!  As a mom, you think about how to handle things like scheduling, feeding, training, discipline, discipling, schooling, and getting out of the house on time and without spit-up or food on your clothes!  It’s easy to fall into the pattern of listening to “experts”, or getting too many (probably differing) opinions from the people around you.  It can get confusing, and there are times when the “muchness” of being a mother can overwhelm you.

But, be encouraged!  Being overwhelmed is OK!  It’s not easy, but it’s OK!  When we are overwhelmed, we have been given the chance to experience the Lord’s hand in our lives in a very real way.

It’s easy to think that being overwhelmed is bad.  But, according to Revelation 3:17, the opposite of being overwhelmed is being self-sufficient, and the Lord doesn’t look favorably on a self-sufficient attitude. In this passage, the church at Laodicea described themselves as “rich, increased with goods, and having need of nothing” (they had much), yet God describes them as wretched, naked, miserable, poor, and blind!

On the other hand, when we are overwhelmed, this is what the Lord says:

My grace is sufficient for you; for my strength is made perfect in weakness. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Just think of it!  Perfect strength!  Sufficient grace!  As moms, we tend to carry guilt around like mules carrying the mail.  At least, I do.  And it’s easy to fall into the temptation of thinking that we somehow deserve to feel guilty, that nothing can make up for our weaknesses or outright mistakes.  And yet, with perfect confidence, God tells us simply that His grace is sufficient.  No need to worry. His strength is perfect in weakness.  No need to try to be stronger than we are.

I think one of the most encouraging things about 2 Corinthians 12:9 is that God, in His abounding kindness, doesn’t frighten us by boasting about His grace and strength by saying, “My grace is unimaginable!  My strength is overpowering!”, which would also be true statements.  Instead, He presents His gifts of grace and strength as if He customizes them with each of His beloved children’s specific needs in mind.  Sufficient grace.  Perfect strength. Take a deep breath…and believe it.

Time to re-purpose.

Is that a word?

I’ve been contemplating this blog, and the purpose that I originally designed it for, which was to be an encouragement to anyone who decides to read it.  However, as time has gone by, I’ve slipped away from that purpose and it has slowly become a place to chronicle what is going on in our family.  So, I’ve decided to try to get back to the original purpose of the blog, and I may try to start up another, more journal-like blog to record the history of our lives.

With the renewed purpose in mind, the next few entries will be a series on God’s grace in our lives, and much of it will come from a devotional I did for a baby shower, and was inspired by sermons by the Holy Spirit’s work through Joe Stowell and Kent Holcomb.

Thoughts on a December Day

December is here!  It would appear that since November went out like a lamb, December is coming in like a lion!  It seems like we went straight from 50’s and 60’s to 30’s this week, and the change in weather is a bit sudden for me.  But, change is always nice, and it is always fun for it to feel like Christmas during the Christmas season.  

Speaking of change, I’m really working on figuring out how to make this house feel like home - not just a place where we keep all of our stuff.  This has never been something I’m strong in, and it is becoming more frustrating as the years go by.  I kept thinking, “By the time I’m 30, I’ll know what to do with a house,” but I’m 31 now, and still really struggling with it.  The frustration I feel because of this is stifling, and I just can’t figure out what the problem is.  I want to paint the walls, but I don’t know what color.  I want it to feel cozy and homey, which makes me think of warm colors, but I really like that sort of “cottage” feel, and those colors are typically a little cooler.  I want to hang something on the walls, but I have no idea what.  

 To try to fix this, I decided to get books from the library.  They all start out with the same challenge: “Start by deciding what the style of your home will be.”  If I could do that, I don’t think I’d need the books!  I was hoping the books would have pictures of different styles, so I could pick one and go.  I feel a little bit like the girl in Runaway Bride who doesn’t know what kind of eggs she likes.  When this thought crossed my mind, I decided it was time for some serious reflection.  Thanks to Jerri Carroll and Mara Alagic (in my opinion the two most effective professors in the WSU College of Education, and no they do not read this blog!), I have had many hours of reflection practice.  

I’ve been reflecting for several weeks now, and I still don’t have my answers, but I believe the Lord has used this frustration in my life to make me aware of a much deeper struggle.  There are two very strong, yet opposite, currents that make up my life, and I have swung like a pendulum between them for as long as I can remember.  

The first one drives me to go against the flow, question the establishment, and work hard to forge the path set before me.  I believe this characteristic is part of my heritage, from ancestors who fought in the Revolutionary War (on the American side) to the ones who had a better way to pack meat and make sausage.  I see it in both my parents, and each one of us kids has demonstrated it in one way or another.  

The second, opposite current is the part of me that just wants everyone around me to be happy.  I want to please my husband, children, family, friends, and total strangers all at the same time.  It is very difficult for me to say “no” and set boundaries, and I constantly feel a need to explain myself.  

The worst part of all of this is that I can, more often than not, be a really flaky person because I am so busy waffling between going down the path set before me without being distracted, but not wanting people to think that I’m a selfish person, so all I do is get distracted, and forget whatever purpose I had to begin with!  I become an unpredictable wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend, one who can’t necessarily be counted on, when one of my core values is to be trustworthy and able to be counted on.  

I know what you’re thinking – all this from trying to figure out how to decorate?!  But I think if I can get to the bottom of these issues in my heart, I will have learned a lot about myself and the person God is bringing me to be.  If I can learn more about that, I think I’ll have more confidence and ability to make choices for our home that suit us – and I’m hopeful that our home and our family will be a reflection of the hope, comfort, and joy we have through Christ.

still here!

Whew!  I can’t believe I’ve gotten away from writing on a regular basis.  Ever since I got on Facebook, I’m not as motivated to write on this blog.  It’s weird.  Speaking of which, I’ve been thinking of quitting Facebook, because I don’t like that it has replaced phone calls and personal emails, and has taken the place of reading people’s blogs.  So, instead of spending time reading about what is really going on in the lives of the people I don’t get to see very often, I spend time reading what they had for lunch, or whatever they can fit into their Facebook status.  I don’t like that trade.  Not to mention the games, which are addicting, but completely without purpose.  Anyway, I’m thinking about quitting.  What do you have to say about Facebook?  

That was kind of a random start!  Let’s see if I can get my brain back on track now…

Things here have been really good, but busy!  Volleyball’s over, but I’ve still had volleyball stuff to do several days a week.  I think I have finally wrapped it all up now, at least until the club team starts in January!   Our season ended up on a very positive note, we took Third Place at the State Tournament, and that was very exciting!  The two teams above us deserved to be there, and we were honored to be there with them.  

The kids’ soccer season went very well, they both did a really good job and had a good time.  

Natalie is growing like a week, she’s talking really well, and starting to be interested in potty training.  There is a light at the end of the diaper filled tunnel!  She likes to imitate whatever Jenna and Creed do, and that is really fun to watch.  

School is going really well for us, I’m encouraged by the progress we’re making, and that the kids really seem to enjoy it.  That’s the biggest blessing, really.  It really makes a big difference in how the days go when the kids are on board with the activities, and I know that the Lord has blessed them with these positive attitudes.  

Bryan bought a motorcycle a few weeks ago, and that has been really fun for him.  He really needed something that was for enjoyment.  I get to do volleyball, I think it’s only right that he has something that he really enjoys, too!  

I’ve been trying to figure out what things I can do to make this house feel like home.  Not just like a crash pad.  One of my least favorite things about myself is that I have absolutely no style, and if I do start to develop some style, it scares me, and I stop.  So, I’m working on some ideas for making this place feel more like a cozy, homey place to be.  I have so many friends whose houses I go over to, and think, “Why can’t I make my house feel like this?”.  But, I am going to pray about it, and just rely on the Lord for ideas, and courage to follow through.  I am hoping to paint in the very near future, and this is going to be a huge job.  But, I just need to dig in and do it!  I’m looking forward to winter, when indoor projects are easier to do (no lawn mowing, weeding, etc.).  

I’m sure there is more that I am forgetting to post, but there’s the general idea of what’s been going on in our world!  

 

Pictures

I am finally uploading pictures, and they are really out of order!  Oh, well, I never claimed to be a professional at this stuff!  Enjoy the pictures!  I don’t have soccer pictures on the computer yet, but I’ll post them as soon as I remember to put batteries in the camera…

 

My sister Katrina with Creed and Natalie on one of the horses, I think it’s Toy.  

My dad out in the arena taking pictures.  Notice the babies sneaking food out of the gator in the background!

Creed at T-ball this summer

 

Natalie out at the field where Bryan was combining that day.  It was VERY hot. 

 

Bryan combining wheat and loading the grain cart.  Joy is driving the tractor and cart.

 

Jenna, Creed and Gavin, having lunch in the car at the fields.  Pretty classic picture of them, really.  

 

Dumping grain out of the cart into the semi for Joel to drive to the elevator.  

 

Tractor and Grain cart.  I can’t remember who is driving in this picture.  

 

Bryan and Bill switching places.  Harvest doesn’t slow down for anything, so they eat meals one person at a time so the others can keep the work progressing.  

 

Back at the house, the kids love going to ride on the four wheeler!  I love this picture of Brandon, Jenna, and Ellie.

 

Jenna and Creed climbing around on the semi at the farm.  

 

Bryan, Jenna, and Creed driving the tractor and grain cart.  

 

Jenna and Creed climbing out of the tractor.

 

Creed at T-ball again!  Is this the second time this picture is in here?  It seems familiar.  

 

Creed driving the gator with Katrina and Truett.  

 

Two blondies, Truett and Natalie on the trampoline together.  

 

Circus party at Kerry and Michelle’s house!  Michelle dressed as a clown, Kerry did a magic show, and we played lots of circus games!  Very fun!

 

Creed and Natalie are tired after all of these adventures!  Jenna, on the other hand is somewhere else, organizing something or generally trying to find something she can be in charge of…

So, that’s our summer in pictures!  

 

October? Really?

Has this much time really passed?  Things have been really crazy here, so I’ll try to do the quick update!  

Let’s see…my last post is dated July 19.  A lot has happened since then.  July and August were consumed with three things:   Bryan’s furlough, when he helped our friends Bill and Joy with harvest, and then we traveled a little bit; Relay for Life; and the start of volleyball season.  Harvest and Relay were both new experiences, but were very rewarding and fun!  

I was the Event Chair for the Relay for Life here in our little town, and we feel like it was very successful for a first time event.  We had aver 400 people in attendance, and we raised just over $24,000!  The committee that I worked with was great, and everyone worked hard to make the event a success.  We had a great DJ, a really great car show, a big softball tournament, a live auction, and many more activities.  We walked from 7 PM until 7 AM, and it was really a wonderful experience.  We’re planning an even bigger and better event for next year, so I’m very excited about that.  

Volleyball started August 1, so we had a couple of weeks of Relay/volleyball overlap, and it was BUSY!  But, we made it, the kids were real troopers, and it’s been a good season.  I have a large team this year, 15 junior high girls!  They are all wonderful, and contribute to the team in a positive way.  My prayer for this team has been unity, and I believe I’ve seen the Lord work on this, which has been good.  The kids come along to practices and games, and it’s really fun!  Our organization is full of great families, and they always have someone to play with, and they seem to enjoy their time there.  

Both Jenna and Creed are playing soccer with an organization called Upwards.  It’s been really fun.  It’s a good outlet for them to learn something new, and be a part of a group.  They both have great coaches, and fun teammates, and it is so much FUN to get to be on the sidelines and just watch and enjoy!  It doesn’t matter how they play, it’s just fun to be able to watch them have a great time and play hard.  They both have a good time, and have learned a lot.  

Work has been going well for Bryan, he stays busy, and that’s good!  He likes to be busy.  

Here at home, laundry is still piled on the couch, school stuff is scattered in different rooms, and I’m still making up recipes and hoping they turn out alright. But everyone is happy, growing, and fairly healthy (other than the fall allergies that have invaded), so I guess we’re doing alright!  

Three more weeks of volleyball season, four more of soccer, and by that time, we’ll be dangerously close to the holiday season, won’t we?  It’s funny how quickly time seems to pass.  You know, when we’re kids, we can’t wait for things to change, and the days seem to drag on…but as adults, we hope that a week comes, just one week, where nothing changes, and we wish that time would pass a little more slowly.  

Well, a two year old is crying, so I need to go.  I’ll try to get pictures up soon!

I left something out…

I just read over my previous post, and realized that I forgot to mention that Bryan’s parents came to visit for part of the week that Bryan was harvesting!  So that was a lot of fun!  Dean got to ride in the tractor with Bryan for a while, which was nice.  Otherwise, they would have hardly seen each other!  Although it did rain for part of the weekend, and Bryan was home for a a day or two…I’m having a hard time remembering now!  Anyway, we had a nice Father’s Day together, and also celebrated Rozetta’s, Creed’s, and Natalie’s birthdays.  

On the night that Bryan and Dean were driving the tractor, Rozetta and I just came home, put the kids to bed, and sat on the couch, eating popcorn and watching HGTV, which is one of my favorite ways to relax.  We had a good time!

It was a very nice visit, I thought, and I just can’t believe that it all slipped my mind in my first post!